I suffered a disappointment the other day. It surprised me how acutely I felt it; it filled me up like a fat water balloon and came pouring out my eyes.
My kids suffer disappointments all the time-- a balloon pops, the rain falls when they were counting on it to shine, the cheese puffs are all gone-- it happens constantly. I suffer fewer disappointments, and feel them less intensely, most of the time. Every now and then, though, it pulls the rug right out from under me.
I noticed how, when I was filled up with disappointment, I was unable to listen to my kids, or say "Yes" to much of anything. I needed to finish feeling the thing I was feeling. I needed a little space to work through it. It took me a few hours.
It reminds me of the many times when my kids scream and wail in despair over the things that feel rotten to them, the game that was lost because s/he forgot to save progress, or whatever. Sometimes their dad and I come up against the intensity of it, and find it unreasonable, and it's hard to take.
But yes, we all really do need the space to feel what we feel, as long as we need to feel it. It is unreasonable. It has nothing to do with reason.
When my son is in the throes of that feeling, how can I expect him to get over it and just "get along" with his sister? When my daughter is in the throes of that feeling, where do I get off telling her not to be "so dramatic"? It's hard for everybody in the world to be giving and kind when their Watery Balloon of Disappointment comes Pouring Out their Eyes. Imagine how hard it is for a little kid!
I guess I'm glad I felt so rotten and sad the other day.
My kids suffer disappointments all the time-- a balloon pops, the rain falls when they were counting on it to shine, the cheese puffs are all gone-- it happens constantly. I suffer fewer disappointments, and feel them less intensely, most of the time. Every now and then, though, it pulls the rug right out from under me.
I noticed how, when I was filled up with disappointment, I was unable to listen to my kids, or say "Yes" to much of anything. I needed to finish feeling the thing I was feeling. I needed a little space to work through it. It took me a few hours.
It reminds me of the many times when my kids scream and wail in despair over the things that feel rotten to them, the game that was lost because s/he forgot to save progress, or whatever. Sometimes their dad and I come up against the intensity of it, and find it unreasonable, and it's hard to take.
But yes, we all really do need the space to feel what we feel, as long as we need to feel it. It is unreasonable. It has nothing to do with reason.
When my son is in the throes of that feeling, how can I expect him to get over it and just "get along" with his sister? When my daughter is in the throes of that feeling, where do I get off telling her not to be "so dramatic"? It's hard for everybody in the world to be giving and kind when their Watery Balloon of Disappointment comes Pouring Out their Eyes. Imagine how hard it is for a little kid!
I guess I'm glad I felt so rotten and sad the other day.
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